The One With nearly 3 months ago.

September 15, 2009. Home.

Frantically preparing for my flight to Manila the next day and to Chicago 3 days after that.

I remember finishing some errands around town with my mom and my dad being our driver.

I had lunch with Kristine, Vanessa and Precious, three of my bestest friends since grade school.

Had dinner with my beloved relatives. Waved my goodbyes to all of them with an assurance that I'd see them soon. Prayed with my dad for what would be the greatest prayer I've heard.

September 16, 2009. Iloilo Airport.

My dad drove us to the airport. I hugged him tight, not realizing that it would take me years to hug and see him again. I kept the tears to myself.

Mama and Ta Edith decided to go with me. Arrived at Manila an hour later then some relatives from Bulacan fetched us and welcomed us into their lovely home for two nights. Then we stayed at Auntie Angkit's house for my last night before my big flight.

September 19, 2009. 2 am, Ninoy Aquino International Airport.

I hugged my Aunts, my cousin Joanna and lastly, my mom.

It was heart-breaking. The one where you only see in movies. The difference is that, it's real this time.

But of course, I had to keep my tears to myself, and wait 'til I get in and burst it all out.

I will never forget the image of my beautiful mother and her smell that night. It must be difficult to see her youngest, must beloved daughter go. But that actually is reality with a blessing from God above.

So I ate some Siomai sold inside the airport just to satisfy my cravings for soy sauce and lime.

Then fell in line for my 5.30 am Cathay Pacific Flight to Hongkong.

Had my visa scanned.. customs cleared.. then I found myself sitting on the departure area.

Had 6 five peso coins in my right palm, that would give me enough time to call someone and let my heart speak. I had my roaming number turned on so I can't really use my cellphone.

I was in line next to a man crying on the telephone booth.

It was my turn, I picked up the phone and hanged up. I went to bathroom instead.

I was boarding the plane. Tears were flowing off my face..

I was not thinking but my tears were like water falls.

I had to angle my face and cover it with my hair so as not to freak the lady out beside me.

It was a two hour-flight and I slept most of the time.

I arrived at HK at around 8 am. Their airport is huge!

So I had to stop by that big electronic board that showed all the details for the ones that have connecting flights. I found mine. United Airlines bound for Chicago's O'Hare Airport 1 pm that same day.

I had all the security and customs procedure done. Then I was off the the Departure area again. I have no idea now what went through my mind that time. Well, it must be pretty deep considering the fact that I didn't take a single picture of the whole thing. And that's quite odd for a self-professed camwhore like me.

1 PM. I was falling in line to get inside the plane. They had to let the business class ticket holders walked through the red carpet. And the majority who were holding an economy class ticket had to go through the simple blue carpet. Blue is nice.

My seat number was 25 B. But then this couple asked me if they could seat together because theirs was 25 A and C. So I moved to the window seat. Next thing I knew, I was crying all over again. Maybe it's due to the fact that I'm uncertain of when I'll be back home.

It was scheduled to be a 14 hour flight. I remembered I slept a total of 7 hours I think, stood up to stretch and let the toxins out three times.Thank God for the free blanket and the pillow-ette. I finished all the on-board meals, literally up to the very bones of each meat.

I heard the Pilot announcing that we should prepare for landing.

I closed my eyes and thought to myself.

I am not prepared for this landing.

walked down the plane, passed the immigration and that guy at the exit door said.

Welcome to America! and at the back of my mind, a certain of piece of me is saying, I wanna go home.

3 months later, still thinking of going home... yet a little stronger to fight the urge to do so.