A beautiful mind

I have been spending a lot of time learning about savantism these days. It's just so wonderful and magical how individuals who have been diagnosed to have autism in their younger years, later turn out to have this amazing, extraordinary, beautiful mind. Most of them have motor problems resulting in dependence in their physical needs.

In my opinion, 3 of the most fascinating savants in the world. (link)

1. Kim Peek - The Human Google. has read some 12,000 books and remembers everything about them. "Kimputer," as he is lovingly known to many, reads two pages at once - his left eye reads the left page, and his right eye reads the right page. It takes him about 3 seconds to read through two pages - and he remember everything on 'em. Kim can recall facts and trivia from 15 subject areas from history to geography to sports. Tell him a date, and Kim can tell you what day of the week it is. He also remembers every music he has ever heard.

2. Stephen Wiltshire: The Human Camera - his striking story? He drew a 10 meter panoramic view of Rome, Tokyo and New York after just an hour helicopter ride around the city. He remembered every window, every street, every minute detail. Simply amazing! He first learned his first word by the age of nine but learned hpw to draw years before that.

3. Daniel Tammet - Brainman - can speak 10 languages. Learned a new language (Icelandic) in a span of a week with an almost perfect accent. He has a world record of reciting the value of pi with more than 22,500 digits. He never missed a single number in a span of five hours. He said that he's not doing any solving. Numbers and answers just spark within his brain. He can do massive calculations since he was four. He was diagnosed to have epilepsy and autism when he was young. After an epileptic attack, he said that number just kept on appearing in his head. Numbers are his friend.

I've watched their videos in youtube numerous times.

It never fails to fascinate me on how much capabilities a human mind can bear.

They said that there are around 25 brilliant savants in the world. Most of them has something to do with music and art. There are a couple of savants who could play any tune or song that they have heard only once.

RIP Kim Peek.

The harsh reality.

It's hard making friends after college.

It's true.

Everything just slips away after graduation.

And now everyone is like.

Oh I know him from work... or we met at a party and I added him on facebook.

That's not really authentic and sincere, isn't it?

I mean can you seriously say, I have a bestfriend at work?

Those are just the rare and blessed ones.

That's probably why they call it facebook not friendsbook.

You recognize the face, you add them.

A normal person (hence, a celebrity etc.) with 1500+ friends is just pure show-off.

Anyways,

Who do you talk to the most these days? besides your family of course.

It's Elementary, High School, College and neighbors, or people from years ago right?

The comfort and love you get from your family is a different thing.

Friends alone can give you that certain kind of laughter, a certain kind of advice, and a certain kind of peace.

Especially at a foreign place. How do you start all over again?

In my case, smiling helps a lot. But apparently, that's not enough. Not even close.

I am so used to saying, "uy psst, musta na? diin ka makadto? diin ka na subong ga istar? ano number mo? tne kalagaw ta dason.. diin namit makaon man? Halong. Rough translation: Hey, how are you? Where are you going? Where are you living now? What's your number? Let's have a lunch soon so we can talk, okay? Take care."

Those lines were my comfort zone.

The people with my own skin color were my comfort zone.

With no cellphone and with a zero percent chance of bumping to an old friend.

Where do I find laughter in a disrupted solace?

And again I ask, please tell me how to start all over again?

Do I just come to people and say, hey let's be friends!

Or you come up to them and tell them your problems.

How do you even know if you share the same interests? Because it seems like that most of them grew up with a different set of sports, music, values, and traditions.

Time is the answer I guess. In God's perfect time.

Prayer time.

How often do you pray? A question I have been asked about.

My creative juices are squeezed tonight.. and since I can't sleep.. might as well write a story again.

It was around this time of the year.. two years ago.. a month after college graduation.

I was in Cebu City, Philippines studying for the Physical Therapy Board Exam.. for us to be licensed in the Philippines. In short, the exam that we need to pass that will determine our future.

It was those times where I was the most prayerful.

I read like four daily breads a day.

It was probably because of the pressure that I needed to pass that exam.

That I want to achieve something good in my life that I could honestly call my own.

A title at the end of my last name.

Every night, I would wait until my room mates went to sleep and then I would step outside and sit under a very large kalachuchi tree. I would talk to God. I would sit and hug both of my knees. And mumble a prayer in the darkness.

I was not scared. Despite the crazy stories of my classmates that they saw something white.

A couple of times, people who rented a room on the second floor who works at night..would tap me at my back and ask if I was okay, or if I was crying. Just 30 minutes or an hour of being at peace in His presence, takes all the pressure and the tiredness from that day.

It was a physical, mental, emotional and psychological battle for all of us. Physical, having only 4 hours of sleep a day and plus the fact that the food were awful. Mental, having 8 hours of compressed lectures in a day, we were always overloaded with informations. Emotional, being away from home and loved ones. Skype, wifi and unlimited calls were not so famous back then. Some even vomited and got sick a week before the exam date. And Psychological, because everything had been altered from the norm.. We were not in our comfort zone.

Mostly, I prayed for good health for me and my classmates, for the safety of my family back home, for courage to finish that race triumphantly. For the results to be good for my classmates as well. For world peace. For a good weather. Always thanking for the unending blessing. And acknowledging God that I couldn't have done this on my own.

It was such a wonderful time of my life, the one that I would never ever forget. It was my first shot at Independence. And I did pretty good. Anyways, I passed that thing. Having a trouble getting my American License though. But I just know all will collide, in God's perfect time.

How often do I pray?

I'd still say a lot.

But not the way I used to.

I wish there was a big tree outside of our house right now.

----------

on some other news:

- Rome Masters next week.. on the road to French Open 2010 on May 23! I hope this will be a year for Novak Djokovic to win a Grandslam.

- The Final Hours of 24 tomorrow: the 17th hour. I'll miss Jack Bauer. :-(

- Gallinero clan had a grand reunion. sources told me that almost 1000 people came and that there was a motorcade with 50+ cars. I'm so bummed I've missed all the fun.

- my cellphone's been missing for the past 5 days. :-(

- A friend is having a thyroid surgery this week. God bless her.

- It's ng Emineh's 9th day after she passed away. I know she's in a better place.

- Advance happy birthday to the most beautiful woman in the world, my MOM.

The One At the Cardiac Center.

I was at the Cardiac Medical Center this afternoon.

I accompanied my sister-in-law having things done while I sat in the waiting area.

There were a lot of elderly people around, most of them having cardiac problem I suppose.

Each was called one by one.

In a room filled with ill people. There I was, sitting on a corner with my Wendy's big chocolate milk shake and french fries on my side. Foods as we know.. that are very unfriendly to the heart. Odd.

My cellphone is currently missing in action and the TV is showing Soap Opera crap. So I was left with nothing else to do but observe.

It turned out to be a very beautiful afternoon, with heartwarming sights.

The very old couple in front of me were waiting for their names to be called. They were both reading thick pocketbooks. The man was far sighted and the lady was near sighted, she could almost kiss her book. Their hearing wasn't that good so it took the nurse 5 loud calls before they finally heard their names. As the man stood up, he dropped a pen on the floor and they both bowed down slowly to pick it up. Their hands touched.. looked at each other and smiled. Then the lady said, no let me do it.. you have some check-ups to do. It made me smile too.

Then there was this couple on the far right of the room. The old man had his pants right up to his chest with a very kyphotic posture. His wife was a tiny woman with a rolling walker on her hands. They kept whispering to each other and then they would laugh. The man would carry her wife's bag. It made me go silently.. aaawwwwww.

There was a daughter accompanying her mom. Sad thing was, the lady looked like my mom.

The old man beside me who looked like Mr. Bean was sleeping the whole time. He was probably dreaming about rainbows while her wife is in the doctor's office being told about the present condition of her heart.

The majority were old couples, but some came alone.

In a world where everyone is in a hurry and everything is fast-paced. It's nice to actually be in a room where everything seems slower.

Gone are my fries and I was on the last sip of my chocolate milk shake.

I didn't realize that an hour and a half had passed. Time indeed runs fast when you're seeing beautiful things.

The one With Goodbye 2009.

Dear 2009,

I just got off the phone with a friend who told me to say some nice things about you.

I'd be lying if I say that you are a great company.

We have our misfits and frowns amongst other things.

But we have our triumphs and grins as well.

I cannot seem to wrap the idea of leaving you soon around my head.

I tsk tsked at the fact that I'm uncertain of the way we are leaving things.

Are we in good terms?

I have 4 days more to spend with you.

Allow me to be cheesy and say that if there's one thing who sees me and really knows me, it would be you.

I oftentimes lie to my friends and family, and sometimes myself how I really feel.

But it is you who've been there all along.

It is you who sees my every tears and hears my every plea.

Remember how much time you and I spent treating patients?

You were with me and saw most of them walk again, and some of them... gone.

You're the one responsible for my 24th birthday. It was sad but I still want to thank you.

Thank you. For the music, movies, TV shows, computer games, good books that you have created this year. It sure helped a lot of people cope with boredom and the unending need for entertainment.

It was also your year when I spent four odd months in Manila.

It was September where you granted me a wish that I wish I couldn't have wished sooner.

To be in a land where every Filipino thought of going home but the economy is just too bad, they'd rather stay somewhere cold and lonely.

It was your year that I got to see and experience cities and sites and places that I just read in books and see in movies before.

It was your year that I cried most nights missing my family back home.

It was your year that I gave all my effort. Yet somehow you thought that it's not yet the time.

Maybe your friend, 2010 will bring me your gifts.

You gave me so much stress, you gave me a hard time, you were a pain in my ass.

But despite all that. You showed me beautiful things.. punched me in the face and told me how awesome my life is.

Thank you, 2009.

I love you, 2009.

Thank you for giving me the best times of my life.

love,

Emery

The One With nearly 3 months ago.

September 15, 2009. Home.

Frantically preparing for my flight to Manila the next day and to Chicago 3 days after that.

I remember finishing some errands around town with my mom and my dad being our driver.

I had lunch with Kristine, Vanessa and Precious, three of my bestest friends since grade school.

Had dinner with my beloved relatives. Waved my goodbyes to all of them with an assurance that I'd see them soon. Prayed with my dad for what would be the greatest prayer I've heard.

September 16, 2009. Iloilo Airport.

My dad drove us to the airport. I hugged him tight, not realizing that it would take me years to hug and see him again. I kept the tears to myself.

Mama and Ta Edith decided to go with me. Arrived at Manila an hour later then some relatives from Bulacan fetched us and welcomed us into their lovely home for two nights. Then we stayed at Auntie Angkit's house for my last night before my big flight.

September 19, 2009. 2 am, Ninoy Aquino International Airport.

I hugged my Aunts, my cousin Joanna and lastly, my mom.

It was heart-breaking. The one where you only see in movies. The difference is that, it's real this time.

But of course, I had to keep my tears to myself, and wait 'til I get in and burst it all out.

I will never forget the image of my beautiful mother and her smell that night. It must be difficult to see her youngest, must beloved daughter go. But that actually is reality with a blessing from God above.

So I ate some Siomai sold inside the airport just to satisfy my cravings for soy sauce and lime.

Then fell in line for my 5.30 am Cathay Pacific Flight to Hongkong.

Had my visa scanned.. customs cleared.. then I found myself sitting on the departure area.

Had 6 five peso coins in my right palm, that would give me enough time to call someone and let my heart speak. I had my roaming number turned on so I can't really use my cellphone.

I was in line next to a man crying on the telephone booth.

It was my turn, I picked up the phone and hanged up. I went to bathroom instead.

I was boarding the plane. Tears were flowing off my face..

I was not thinking but my tears were like water falls.

I had to angle my face and cover it with my hair so as not to freak the lady out beside me.

It was a two hour-flight and I slept most of the time.

I arrived at HK at around 8 am. Their airport is huge!

So I had to stop by that big electronic board that showed all the details for the ones that have connecting flights. I found mine. United Airlines bound for Chicago's O'Hare Airport 1 pm that same day.

I had all the security and customs procedure done. Then I was off the the Departure area again. I have no idea now what went through my mind that time. Well, it must be pretty deep considering the fact that I didn't take a single picture of the whole thing. And that's quite odd for a self-professed camwhore like me.

1 PM. I was falling in line to get inside the plane. They had to let the business class ticket holders walked through the red carpet. And the majority who were holding an economy class ticket had to go through the simple blue carpet. Blue is nice.

My seat number was 25 B. But then this couple asked me if they could seat together because theirs was 25 A and C. So I moved to the window seat. Next thing I knew, I was crying all over again. Maybe it's due to the fact that I'm uncertain of when I'll be back home.

It was scheduled to be a 14 hour flight. I remembered I slept a total of 7 hours I think, stood up to stretch and let the toxins out three times.Thank God for the free blanket and the pillow-ette. I finished all the on-board meals, literally up to the very bones of each meat.

I heard the Pilot announcing that we should prepare for landing.

I closed my eyes and thought to myself.

I am not prepared for this landing.

walked down the plane, passed the immigration and that guy at the exit door said.

Welcome to America! and at the back of my mind, a certain of piece of me is saying, I wanna go home.

3 months later, still thinking of going home... yet a little stronger to fight the urge to do so.

The One With all the Letters

When you're this far from mostly all your friends and family, you suddenly realize how amazing emails and private messaging are. Here are five of them that got me through some really tough times. Senders will remain anonymous though. Had to translate some of it for my foreign readers. haha. (as if have one..well basing on my flagcounter.. it's like United nations!)

Ne,
I called you three times but all I got was your answering machine...It's okay. that's life....just call everyone you know to ease your sadness...really try to keep in touch with friends..take care always..

emz,

hay... it's okay... just take it again.. heheheh ndi man ta b mag abtanay sa chat... so pano na b??? you can still work there for the meantime right?? well., take care lang da gurl.. mayo man na kung maka ktanay na kamo ni jeni kag ni xao da.. para mabuhinbuhinan depression mo.. Miss u man day! chat ta soon!

hi Emery! Sorry for the super late reply. How are you? I hope youre feeling better right now. Well, all i can say is "it's alright!", each of us has our share of failure and we have to see the good that comes from it which us the experience itself enabling us to endure whatever failure next time.
To be honest, i know of the best students who didn't make it first time. At least, you are already there. Think of the thousands of PTs who are still here, getting denied of their visas, waiting in vain and without any assurance of being given granted once they reapply. In your case, your chances of passing it the second time is really way higher.
So just forget it! Get back the enthusiasm of reviewing again and move forward. Pray hardest and just enjoy life there one day at a time.
I will pray for you..
I miss you and thanks for always keeping in touch!

Hmm that sucks :( Anyway it's not the end of the world! And I don't think it will be such a big problem for us... I mean, I just have to know where you will be that weekend (October 23), and that's it! If you are in Chicago, I'll go there. But PLEASE let me know SOON where you will be (on Monday I should already know this). I have to get the tickets, remember? :P I wish I could be there with you on these hard times..... :( But don't worry! We'll be meeting soon! :) Finally! :)

hello queen emery!!just visited your blog... i liked it..the music especially.. i never expected you express yourself that great... as in...i miss you ne!be safe always... @emery gem

oh well. every entry should come with a pic right? haha.

and besides, I think I'm okay now.

The One With at New York?

No tour is complete without a picture with the famous NY yellow taxi cabs on your background.

I've been here for almost two weeks.

Half of those nights, I've cried myself to sleep.

Thinking.. wondering.. if this is all worth it.

The stress, the loneliness, the chaos, the cold, the big city.

All the excitement for my first international flight and seeing this new world... all gone.

All that's left is confusion.

Good thing is, adjusting is not that difficult after all.

I practically mastered the E, F, R and V subway trains in two days.

I'm still perfectly healthy despite the dramatic change of climate.

Went to Jamaica, NY to get my SS Number all by myself.

Walked around the city with no tour guide. (well, I did the first time. LOL)

Loving the American breakfast meals.

So you see, I'm good.

I love the people here, very contradicting to what I was told to. They're actually very nice and accomodating or they're just probably nice to me because I'm pretty. LOL. I kid! I kid!

And oh the cellphone services are awesome. Free Unlimited calls! And still adjusting on leaving messages on voicemails. I still find it very weird. lols. Exactly why my phone has been my bestfriend since I moved here.

Then this terrible thing happened.

I didn't pass my NPTE, the exam that I'm supposed to take in order for me to be licensed here. It was very difficult. Well I don't want to talk about it because it's just frustrating. Part of it is because I have no one to blame but myself. I never answered a single practice question 15 days prior to the exam. I relied on my notes which evidently did help only a little. I answered the basic Anatomy/Physiology and Neuro, Medical-Surgical and Orthopedic conditions. I had a hard time answering questions that asks for my judgement as a PT or those clinical Decision making questions. All the choices seemed correct. Just failed to pick the best one. But oh well, enough of that.

I'm okay now, as I've said I've got my little band of angels telling me that life goes on and that there's always a second take.

So, I'm flying back to Chicago, where everything seems simpler and greener, and be with my family again. And start all over again.

No, I don't think so. Maybe soon. I'll really learn to love it and embrace it.

The One with the Final Countdown

I officially 20 days left in this spectacular City of Love.
There are just so many things that I'd like to do before I vanish.

Call everyone I know.
Say sorry to the people I might have hurt without me realizing it.
Say thanks to those who have helped me reach where I am now. (not that I've reached that far already)
Say I'll miss you so much to only God knows who.
and just say my 'see-you-soon' to my friends.

I am so blessed. I will continually pray to the Lord for the unending blessings. And just pray a litter harder each passing day. Troubles may come, doubts may arise. Just as long as you have prayers and a giant faith as your shield and weapon, everything will feel so right.

I'm pressing on the upward way.

New heights I'm gaining every day.

Still praying as I'm onward bound:

Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.

Lord, lift me up and let me stand,

By faith on Heaven's table land.

A higher plain than I have found:

Lord, plant me feet on higher ground.

My heart has no desire to stay,

Where doubts arise and fears dismay.

Though some may dwell where these abound,

My prayer, my aim, is higher ground.

*literally got teary-eyed when we sang this in the church last Sunday.

The One with the Comeback.

What the hell have I been doing these past few weeks?

I’m finally home.

Finally waved goodbye to the traffic, awful food, and very dirty streets. You will not be missed, Manila.

Allow me to write a novel here.

The last two days of my life in Manila happened to be the busiest and stressful days of my life to date. I only had 6 hours of sleep for two days I think.

Monday. August 10, 2009

Went to AMARCO. This agency located at Annapolis which is the Manila tie-up of my real agency, Interfysio. I had to get my Work Visa packet that contained all the needed documents and instructions for my US embassy interview that Wednesday. It included my Approval letter from USCIS. I studied the 1 inch thick documents the whole night.

Tuesday. August 11, 2009.

Woke-up around 5.30 am (the earliest in 4 months). Prepared everything for my Medical check-up. Fecalysis and Urinalysis. (spell gross). Arrived at the clinic at 7.30 am only to find out that the Clinic opens at 9 am. Worse thing was, I had to stand and walk around for 1 and a half hours because there were no benches available to sit around. So I had my blood and x-ray taken and took that Psych exam which was very mentally draining that morning. The x-ray lady told me “ma’am ang payat mo”, when she palpated my scapula. LOL. The doctor and the dentist were not available that morning so they asked me to return the next day.

At around 11 am. I went to the Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar (PDOS) training on Pedro Gil Street along Taft Avenue. I didn’t know what to ride for me to get there so I ended up riding a bus that took me about an hour or so to arrive. I ate because I was seeing stars already. The seminar was a requirement for all Overseas Filipino Workers. I didn’t know that the seminar was from 12 noon to 7 pm just to get that certificate after 7 agonizing hours. I guess I’m the only one applying for the US that time. All of them were middle-east bound. It was quite informative but after the 3^rd hour my head was spinning again and all I heard was blah-blah-blah after that.

The seminar ended at around 8 pm. I literally ran to Robinson’s Manila to purchase a ticket for me to go home that Thursday to Iloilo. I ended up getting the 4.45 am flight. I am that excited to go home. Had my dinner at around 10 and went home eventually.

I had to print another DS 157 just to make sure. I slept at around 1.30 am after I sorted all things out and just laid there with eyes wide open. Counting the flock of sheep lulled me to sleep.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009.

Woke up at around 5 am for the obvious reason that I am excited. Kjirsti and Sheila decided to go with me and I love them for doing so. I had my interview scheduled at 9.30 am. So I was able to go in at around 8.30. It was my first time so I had to move slow and just observe what everybody else is doing, and where everybody else is going. Funny thing was, 15 of the Wowowee casts and dancers were there too including Mr. Willie Revillame himself. He’s cuter in person. LoL. Anyways it was already around 11 when we were sent to the main Interview room. It was quite smaller than I expected. Again, I waited patiently for my number to be buzzed, 235 as I distinctly remember because I was looking at it and playing the little paper with my fingers the whole time.

231, 232, 233, 234……235. It was now my time. I briefly closed my eyes and inhaled deeply before I stood up. The consul greeted me with a crisp “Magandang Umaga”. I greeted him back plus a smile. So he asked me, What is your purpose in going the the United States?. I said. “to work as an H1B approved Physical Therapist Sir”. And the second thing he asked was, “Did you already take your NPTE?”. Of course I answered no, and explained to him that the New York State has issued me a Temporary License. He asked for it, and I gladly showed it to him. He was not convinced because he kept on insisting that I cannot work there if I don’t have a License yet. So I explained to him everything that I know about the Temporary permit. The conversation was going nowhere because it really looks like he didn’t believe me. So instead, he gave me this green paper stating that they’ll have to hold my application because they need to send my documents to the administrative department to review my papers. He said they’ll just call me. I said thanks as I waved a little bye-bye.

I didn’t know what to feel while I was walking outside. I told myself. He could’ve just said I’m denied so I can cry about it. Or he could’ve approved my application so I could celebrate and rejoice…my emotions were left hanging in the middle.

As I went home I could bang my head against the door when I reviewed my papers and there’s this one tiny piece of paper that says. “NEW YORK EDUCATION LAW, TITLE VIII, ARTICLE 136 AND 6735 PROVIDES THAQT PHYSICAL THERAPISTS HOLDING A NEW YORK TEMPORAY LICENSE ARE AUTHORIZED TO FULLY PERFORM THEIR OCCUPATIONAL DUTIES WITHOUT A PERMANENT LICENSE FOR TEMPORARY PERIOD, PROVIDED THEY WORK UNDER THE SUPERVISION OF A LICENSED PHYSICAL THERAPIST”.

I suddenly wondered if I had shown him that paper would he have believed me instead? But I know everything happens for a reason so I'm not that all confused.

Anyways, after I ate my lunch I went back to the clinic where I had to finish my Medical Exam only to find out that my vision’s not perfect anymore and that some repairs had to be done on my teeth. I had to search for an internet station to email my employer of the things that happened to me because they’re expecting me to be approved and they’re really expecting for my arrival before September 20. I told them every detail of the Interview. Around 11 pm, I had my final BIG dinner with Kjirsti that night and went home to pack my things for my flight home 4.45 am the next day. Took my very last bath at our tiny place and decided to take a nap. Around 1 am. My mom called me to tell me that my Agency received my email and told her that I shouldn’t be worried with my papers. Because maybe I was interviewed by a Consul that was not familiar with the whole thing. Anyways, it was a very big relief for my part o hear that. So now all I have to do is just to wait for their call so I can fly back to Manila and fix everything.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I arrived at the airport around 3 am. And I could barely hide my excitement. I fell asleep at the plane and woke up when the pilot guy announced that we are now approaching the Iloilo Airport. My heart literally jumped that I could feel my Sympathetic Nervous System work things up again. And yeah. Finally I was home! I could just smell the clean air. And half-ran/half-hopped when I saw my mom and dad. A rather healthy breakfast was waiting for me. Laswa kag uga. Ahaha. Then I saw my very big comfortable bed. Slept for 6 hours straight. When I woke up. A very delicious meal was waiting for me again.

Took my shower and went directly to Tita Jho’s wake. She looked lovely even on her deathbed. I got teary-eyed when I saw Tita’s Coffin mainly because I wasn’t able to see her or help her on the last months of her life. Stayed up late again at their house to catch up things with my cousins and friends.

Tita Jho’s life was such an inspiration. She was only 42 years old. Died of Ovarian Cancer. But she raised such beautiful, intelligent and very brave kids. To Serren, my favorite cousin, the eldest of four. Only 20 years old but has an emotional age of 40 I think.

I cried so hard from the last night of wake up to the funeral. My eyes were bulging that my eyebags were going to explode. 80 cars trailed off when Tita was brought to her final resting place. A lot of people asked if she was a politician or something because of the ginormous amount of people. It was such a sad moment saying goodbye to a very courageous and beautiful woman.

Probably will write an entry about her some other time.

Still waiting for that Embassy call, LoL.

Phew! Goodnight.

sorry for the typos. don't have enough time to re-check it.

The One with my numbered wall.

I was surprised to see my old phone in my suitcase. I didn't know I had it with me.

Here's my wallpaper of that phone. sorry for the very bad image. lol. it only had 1 MP, i think. lol

I just love Peyton's (One Tree Hill) line so much that I painted the exact number on my wall too.

My mom was very puzzled when I bought the red paint. lol.

it's just the most heart warming passage. ever.

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.

Some are running scared,

some are coming home.

Some tell lies to make it through the day.

Others are now facing the truth.

Some are evil men,at war with good.

And some are good,struggling with evil.

Six billion people in the world.

6 billion souls.

And sometimes all you need is ONE."

don't mind me playing the guitar. Just look at the numbers. lol

original pic from One Tree Hill, Season 3, Episode 1.

peyton's wall.

p.s Congratulations, Djokovic! you'll have your space here. a big space. lol

Just finished 300 Giles questions and that somehow made me happy.

We're about to have our dinner in a while, then go back, study some more and watch Nole's game, later tonight.


The trailer of the Time traveler's wife was officially released yesterday and that made my heart skipped a beat.

I almost want to cry just watching it. The disappearaing thing is soo awesome!

Anyways,
I was scanning my old Kinesiology book and found this little peace of paper.
I am in the state between giggling and punching myself while reading this.
Pedamundo as what Mr. Mayer said.
lol.
I'm not even sure who I was thinking when I wrote this.

How long did I allow myself to be kept delicate?

I'm like a puppet under everyone's spell.

Bound to fall and crash.

If tragedy means having to let you go..

before I even called you my own.

And if it also means having to be this happy,

just seeing your face everyday

and just realize, you left for good.

hard to admit the fact that it also means

having to wait for you for me to be alive again.

Then give me tragedy.

it's the only way to check if my heart's still beating.

Ewww.

When you're sick everything else turns cold.

That's what I learned this morning. Woke up with a weighty head a very disturbed throat. I could barely open my eyes.I only had 4 hours of sleep yet i struggled to wake up not wanting to miss today's lecture, UE and LE Special Tests. My heandwriting was very much readable on the first hour. It gradually became like that you see on an EMG strip with the letters PQRST which suddenly drops after a brief second of losing conciousness. I made it through after three hours of grueling lecture without missing a single note.

I didn't have my breakfast because I wasn't hungry. So I nibbled this one pack of Ribisco sandwhich and drank a cup of water. So I felt dizzy and ligh-headed walking home. Hypoglycemia. we bough take out lunch and I almost fainted walking up the stairs. Finished my lunch in a matter of 3 minutes. Went back to sleep at twelve then woke up again at 4.

I was supposed to answer 100 PEAT questions, but stopped at no. 39 because my headache was killing me.

Now I write this with a fever that's about to rise. I hope I'll be well tomorrow. Because again, I wouldn't want to miss Musculoskeletal Interventions.

My brain's been dead for almost two years, and it needs all the alam clocks it could get. I wouldn't want to disturb my roommates with this stupid flu because I don't like being taken care at.

Blogging is therapy for me.
So excuse us, that's me and my fingers for emoting like this.

The One Where I was shot.

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A story that shocked me to my very core.

A 33 year-old female doctor was shot by his father. It was all over our local news here.

She was my sister-in-law’s colleague, neighbor and friend.

I don’t know her personally, but I’d like to be her on the last day of her life.

March 14,2009; 6:30 am

I woke up at the sound of my alarm clock. I tried to open my heavy eyelids and thought about my plans for today. I stretched my arms and legs as far as possible to gear me up for this unexpected day. I sat up and closed my eyes for a brief prayer of thankfulness.

I checked my phone for new messages and checked my calendar as well.

We have a conference at WestTown hotel with my colleagues. I prepared my clothes and laid them on my bed carefully. I took my shower longer than the usual.

Ate my breakfast and hurriedly went to the hotel.

It was so nice to be around people who share your interest in your profession. We chatted up non-stop because some of them I haven’t seen in years.

I listened to the lecture, took a few notes, and ate the free food.

Time just sprints when you’re having such a wonderful time. I then went to SM to buy some personal stuff because they were having a sale.

I had a little too much fun strolling around that the sun was long gone when we stepped out of the mall. I went home stat.

I had this bad weird feeling as I opened our gate.

I heard war.

War of swear words.

Coming form my mom and my drunken dad.

I was hesitant to open our door.

But I did enter.

My dad was pointing the gun straight at my mom’s face.

I joined the screaming party.

I was shouting words, I couldn’t remember them.

My mind was so outraged with all the chaos

The screaming and the madness continued for a couple of minutes.

I closed my eyes.

And in a split second, I realized that he was going to do it.

Pull the trigger.

And without any hesitations, I jumped in front of my scared mother..

And felt the bullet burning in my chest.

I took my last breath.